Quote:
Originally Posted by Nat92
Everyone here would probably tell me to go see a doctor asap and allow them to admit me to a hospital, I've been told to do it before and I did schedule an appointment, but I just never show up.
I'm too scared and too nervous.
About the wrong things.
I'm not scared for myself, but for my family, if they found out and what they would do. How it would affect them, would my mom hate me? Would my mom disown me? Would she blame herself?
And what of the house, who would be left to clean it, who would help my parents?
They can't do it all by themselves, they need me here to help.
What would the rest of my family think?
I just couldn't put them in that situation, they don't deserve that.
But I need help and I don't know how to keep up with all the lies I've told to hide it all from them.
I've gotten another appointment with a different doctor but I don't know if I can do it. I'll probably just conjure up a fake injury or something.
|
Hello Nat92: This is actually something I know something about. Unfortunately this doesn't necessarily mean I have any solutions for you. I'm an older person now. And I spent the first 5 decades of my life denying there was anything wrong, hiding rather clumsily behind a mask of "healthy-ness", & fearing that one day I would embarrass myself & my loved ones by having some kind of nervous breakdown right out in public for everyone to see.
I managed to continue on this way into my early 50's. Then, at that point, following a non-life-threatening bout with cancer, it all came crashing down resulting in my 1st completely unanticipated suicide attempt. Things have continued to slide ever-so-slowly downhill from there.
So, what I want to say is, at least from my perspective, hiding doesn't work over the long haul. One may be able to hide for a few years, or maybe even several decades. But untreated mental health problems have a way of festering until eventually they manage to find a thin spot in one's armor. Then they explode outward. So, again from my perspective, you have two choices. You can either choose the time & circumstances of your treatment; or you can wait & have it forced upon you. I personally recommend the former, although this is not the way I did it.
That said, if you are simply not able to do what needs to be done at the present time, so to speak, if you can motivate yourself to do it, some things that can certainly help include: meditation, regular exercise, avoiding caffeine, eating a healthy diet, etc. I'm sure you've heard all of these things before, & they do help if you can put together a regular routine & stick with it. But, for most of us I would say, the help of a skilled therapist, & possibly psych med's, are at some point or another necessary as well. My best wishes to you!
