OK, so here's my deal...I'm a man, 41, single, never married, hardly dated, unemployed, engineering college graduate, and on and on. I lived on my own from age 20 to 31, but since then have been living with my elderly parents. Graduated college in 1997. Worked for about 4 years in my field, got depressed lost my job, wallowed in self-pity and alcohol for a couple years, then moved back home. Wallowed in self-pity and alcohol for another 4 years then finally got a job at the Mega-Mart making very little. Held that job for 7 1/2 years until a female coworker came along, 20 years my junior, and F'ed me up royally. Had to get away from that whole deal. Quit drinking, tried a new job, lasted 3 weeks, had to quit because of terrible stress and anxiety. Currently 4 months unemployed, uninspired, depressed, lonely, hopeless, sober, and just plain tired.

My parents have been bugging me about finding a therapist for weeks. I know I need help. My problem is, I'm afraid of change. Also, I'm afraid to commit to anything like therapy, a new job, better self-care regimen, new relationships, etc. because I'm a pessimist and I believe I'll always fail. So I stick to sleeping from 6am to 2pm, going hours without eating, days without showering, hours playing video games and watching TV, and smoking too much and generally trying to avoid anything that might shake up my little routine. It sucks...I know it does. I'm not acting like an adult. I feel like I'm still 15.

How...HOW do I change? I need to want to change. I don't know how to get to that point. Maybe writing this is a step in the right direction?

So...therapy...I need some advice on what to look for...what type(s) of therapy would benefit me. What research I need to do on a particular therapist and how to go about doing it before I go. Yes, I know what a sentence fragment is. Caught you didn't I. More importantly though is what concerns should I just set aside that don't really matter so I can just pull the trigger on this thing and get my life back?