Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
I think it would be a huge relief to start over with someone different, and this time hold on harder to the boundaries in my head -- to always, always keep in mind that this other person is not really emotionally invested in me and doesn't actually care about me in real life.
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Are you sure of that?
It sounds like defensiveness.
Has he told her you has no investment in you and doesn't care about you?
Is your job not part of your real life?
Just because it's his vocation doesn't mean it's insignificant to him or that you are insignificant to him.
P.S. Later in your thread it sounds again like you're defending yourself from vulnerability which can be very healing, when you talk about wanting to be on equal footing and shy away from intimacy issues. It's hard for me to conceive of doing trauma work without having an intimate connection building. Trauma, unless we're talking due to a natural disaster or something, is a most intimate relationship wound, and I find my healing is about having an intimate healthy therapeutic relationship: I can't separate the healing from the intimacy past a certain point at least.