Wow...You have been through alot too. I just made an apt to see a therapist today but it won't be until next week, I don't have the money to go see a paid for prof.therapist so I did the only thing I could and sought help locally. My wife and I have pretty much always had financial stress.We both come from very..absent families( and about of other bad words here) and on top of that we both made poor choices before we got together. But we have come up from nothing, we may not have much but it is something. We have a beautiful, happy, and very intelligent daughter. My biggest fault in her eyes was the fact that I could never be sober, and when I say this I mean in the since that I drank and smoked, but I never drank more than 2-4 beers(at most 4) a night, and that wasn't every night. It was like, say if we were going to the park or the movies I'd have to do something before we went..which I know now is not ok. It's been five years since being sober from hard drug addiction but I could never stand being sober in my own skin, I'm seeing help for that. She doesn't justify that her sleeping with another man is ok but she says that helped pushed her to it. I know I can be completely sober, it's been 5 days now and I've had nothing besides cigs..but I don't know how I should feel about her anymore..I love her, I mean I would die for her, and 3 years ago I almost did(another long story) but that being said,I do know that I'm pretty good looking,a little on the scrawny side but I was a 3 month pre mature birth so I've had severe asthma issues, didn't even really hot puberty until I was 21 in my opinion. I also know that I have amazing potential but I never live up to it and I haven't figured that one out yet...I am just so confused right now.thank you so much for talking to me, out means the world to me.

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