Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8
I'm not sure what you should do, but when you talk about how hard you're going to try to keep the boundaries and remember you're "just" a client( I disagree with that idea anyway), it strikes a chord with me. My pattern. Anyone's pattern, for that matter. Part of me wanted to repeat it with4 Ts, but for sure I was NOT going to let it happen with my current T. You know the rest of my story.
Until we work through why we repeat ourselves, it's likely to happen again, even if we try hard. I'm talking about feelings for Ts, not behavior we're changing through our therapy.
I could be wrong of course, but wanted to warn you about repeating patterns. I don't think changing the T changes our wants and needs.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.  |
Rainbow, this isn't an issue that has come up with Ts I've had in the past. So far, it is pretty much exclusive to this particular T. Although, I admit that in my life, my history has been to be in relationships where I love the other person more than that person loves me. The other person never seems to place as much value on my needs or wants as I place on theirs. THAT is the repeating pattern.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1914sierra
"I think it would be a huge relief to start over with someone different, and this time hold on harder to the boundaries in my head -- to always, always keep in mind that this other person is not really emotionally invested in me and doesn't actually care about me in real life."
I don't know. I get the feeling you are trying to run away from apparently a very good therapist because you are trying to escape something that I'm not really sure is possible to run away from.
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I acknowledge that I am trying to get away from the pain of being in a relationship where I care more for the other person than he or she cares for me. I am tired of it. It seems more like self preservation than running.