It feels like you are not being reactive, but attempting to intentionally DO something by leaving or staying with your current T. That suggests that you really can't, as other people have suggested, make a mistake when you are in this thoughtful and intentional place. First you should feel good about being here.

I have had the attachment pattern that you describe-- I may still have it now with some people. For me, it seemed like it was a holdover from the dynamics of my FOO and the CSA that was a part of those dynamics. That's kind of the heart of CSA in at least one way, that the person doing the abusing is supposed to put your needs above their own, and they obviously don't.

What I realized is that I needed to walk away from at least some of those relationships in my real life. I don't know if that is what you need to do, to use therapy to walk away from the IRL relationships that are unbalanced. If you leave your T and consider that "breaking the pattern", I'm not so sure that it really is. I don't know that it's necessarily healthy to try to corral your feelings with a new T to "break the pattern" as opposed to letting them run naturally and being comfortable with them, whatever they are.