wow, Gencat...
this is not a great situation for you, and I guess not for her either. I have to have someone I can be completely honest with and can help me to guage where I am, and whether I might need more intensive support like inpatient. The fact that your T has made this "off limits" in terms of something that you can bring up does not leave you with what you need.

I don't know if your pdoc can act in that capacity or if you need to think about seeing another T or have a dbt or secondary T that can support you and give you tools to use when you get to that point...

I think you need to reconsider who is actually going to serve your needs, not their own.
Please stay safe and work on some safety plan until you get the support you deserve and need..

Gentle hugs,
WB