Thank you all for posting here. You let me relive my first sober day then few days, the several years of hard work that I threw out back in 1991 when my mom died and I discovered my dad in midst age Alzheimer's & hating me--believing I could have prevented her death. My dad had already started drinking heavily with my mother in hospital, when I got off the plane in Tampa, having flown out of San Francisco and took a cab home after midnight.

After her death, my dad has a case of liquor delivered to him at their condo. I went out and bought my own quart or two of scotch and we sat there in separate rooms, both drinking and saying/hearing the worst thing family can say to each other. I was all my dad had now, and I chose scotch over him and drank away 20 yrs sobriety because I didn't like the reality I'd found myself suddenly living.

That's what's so wonderful to me about this website and this Forum. And the Internet.

Thanks, guys & gals. I'm less manic tonight, having gotten about 2.5 hrs uninterrupted sleep this evening. It's been a horrific four days since Friday--but no alcohol & no tobacco. Because of a few friends IRL & my support on this site.

roads