I rarely invite people over. Growing up, when I was younger I wasn't really allowed to (and no one really lived near enough to easily come over), and then when I was older I wasn't going to expose my friends to my family.... so it is a bit of a habit now.

I'm also a bit of a neat freak, so if there's ANYTHING even slightly out of place I'm like "it's messy! you can't come over!" (despite having everyone who ever has tell me that they're horrified about what I must think of their place if I consider mine messy..... but really... others homes are their's so what do I care? It's only MY place that has to be neat!).

I get really worried about being judged and don't like to bring stress in to my home... and what if someone said no? Or distanced from me afterwards?

Despite all of that..... I do usually invite people out. And I've been learning to invite people over a bit, but it's never more than one person at a time (my T actually made me have a small dinner party as a challenge... it was hard and my perfectionist type behaviour came out during it...).

But once someone's really close to me and has been over enough times, then it relaxes a bit. Like... my bf can come over when I consider it messy and I can be alright with that (usually as he's the one who helped make it messy and then I just didn't have time to really clean up things yet!). But I still almost always do the quickest tidy-up that I can first.