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Originally Posted by tickledviolet73
I feel I can relate to the turning 40 thing. I turned 40 in November and am feeling that I am not at all where I thought I would be. I suppose that is life and something we all struggle with but it is easier to deal with some days than others. I especially would like a family and am nowhere near that happening.
I also hate mornings too. One thing that helps me get through a rough time is movement. Walking, getting outside, doing yoga. It seems to shift my energy and mood at least for the short term. I'm sure you have tried this but just wanted to mention it to you. Hang in there.
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Violet, Clem,
Have either of you read Meriwhether Lewis' personal diaries? I know, seemingly strange thing to bring up now. But, it's almost certain he was depressive/manic-depressive and committed suicide. In one of his diary entries made in his early 30's he talks about how he thinks he has done very little with his life and regrets it. When I read this diary entry in one of Kay Redfield Jamison's books, it floored me. This was written by a man that explored half a continent, more or less -- yet still thought these things about his life being a disappointment.
It was at that point that I realized there was something bigger than my life circumstances making me feel the way I was feeling. In fact, as my therapist pointed out, it is very common for those suffering from depression to think in very similar ways. It just completely floored me that someone separated from me by hundreds of years, and seemingly so accomplished, could feel the same way about his life as I do about mine. It helps me to remind myself when I feel this way that it's my "depressive biology talking" and the crappy life circumstances are something to be addressed separately.
