Here's a weird paragraph list.. I'm really mature for my age, but I have a lot of growing up to do and life to experience, but thinking about it just makes me SAD.. I find it really hard to talk about this stuff in person and the last time I made an appointment with a therapist they cancelled on me. Also, please don't comment saying I'm too young for this kind of stuff, thank you!

- Through high school it would usually be hard to stay happy. There would always be something wrong. In junior year, my best friend (whom I had since 8th grade) and I started dating and we're still going strong, but it's hard to talk to him about my mental health without getting very upset. It makes me teary and hard to understand when I talk. I talk to him about everything, but I need some constructive help and not just someone to listen.. Anyways, every summer was the worst summer. I was and still am the needy, clingy type and I don't want that to be me anymore. If you read below you'll see that I'm in a different state than my current boyfriend. That just makes it worse! I think about him constantly and it's hard to enjoy anything unless it's on the internet.

- I just graduated from high school, and I'm going to college in late August. Graduating from high school was like a slap in the face, and then when I go to college I know I will get all this pressure put on me to break up with my boyfriend, even though he will only be an hour away from me.

- I have dealt with chronic migraines paired with chronic neck pain from middle school til now, and those have had an effect on how I see myself. I don't perform as well as other people because I'm tired and in pain all the time. I have certain needs for college such as having my medication with me at all times, and I have to try to avoid certain smells because I'm sensitive to odors.

- I chose to move to LA with my mom so I could get more medical attention, but I'm so homesick that the depression that gets worse in the summer has gotten 10x worse. I'm isolating myself and I can't enjoy LA. Today I went on a bike ride on the beach and I didn't even enjoy that. I discovered I don't like change and I miss my old life to the point where I'm asking to go back.

- It feels even more magnified with my boyfriend being in my home state. I have a lump in my throat just typing this.

Let me know if you have any questions!