Peaches, I finally had the time to read your thread with the attention it deserves. Your T is right! You got many well-thought out replies and comments. I hope you'll soon post how the rest of your session was, and what your T decided to do about the emailing. I agree that you have used emails as a kind of crutch to avoid facing your T. But not always! Like me, you crave that connection and even in a "good" session, sometimes I leave feeling disconnected and dissatisfied with my T.

In another thread you posted about how you realize that you are afraid to have the close connection that you really want to have with your T, and that you only have it through emailing. I can't find that thread, though! Is that what you talked about in the rest of your session?

I still feel the need to email my T, but the boundary/rule is that she never emails back unless it's about scheduling or very rarely at other times like when my daughter was in the hospital. I don't care that she doesn't respond; I just want her to know what's going on with me, usually right after my session. I may email a couple of times, and then I am able to go the rest of the 2 weeks without emailing again. I'm not going to force myself to stop. It's too painful for me. I'm not asking her for support; I just want her to know my feelings. I'm not naive enough to think that she always reads my emails right away. For all I know, she reads them the day of my next session, 2 weeks later.

I hope you and your T can work out this problem with email, to your satisfaction. It's hard. My T says she wished she'd never allowed email in the first place! Once she did, though, it's hard to give it up. I also want to add that for those of us who are writers, either by profession or by interest, it's much easier to connect through writing. I can always write what I can't tell my T. I love to write, so it makes sense that I want to use writing to express my feelings and thoughts to my T. Talking face to face is difficult, but I know it is much more rewarding.

Sorry if I went off on a tangent here. You know how much I care about you, and want the best for you.