...seriously!

this has been going on for what seems like 1000 years...

I break apart into so many terrible pieces!

every time I think

...I hate my thoughts...!!

I don't hate myself but I hate who I am...

nothing much in this world fits me...

it's been a while now since I have tried to do anything drastic about it...

anything drastic about me...

I don't even know what I want?

isn't a person designed to want things?

everything here on this plane of humanity is beyond me...

or am I beyond it..?

I just don't get where 'me' fits in...

I feel way beyond my time ...like the things that made sense were so long ago

...and this could be an episode !

I just do not know?

my biline borderbolar existence has only tormented myself...

I don't even know if this is real!?

I am so very confused

I want friends ...but I don't trust myself....

I imagine everyone is just like me!...

so I am stuck in my own head....

and it's hardly much good...

ouch...

I stay alive because I am determined to find some peace...

I believe I deserve it....

james