I think your energy is in there being spent on how you feel about this past/ended relationship. Forgiveness can often work as a pair of scissors to cut that stream going away from you so you can use it for other purposes and aren't still having someone steal your cable, so-to-speak :-) I like Echoes reframing ideas but some of them, like wishing "this had never happened" -- it did happen and a wish can't change anything. For me, forgiveness is a more proactive decision on my part that I have ended it for myself; the other person did what they did, hurt me badly at that time, but I have learned some good (albeit hard/painful) lessons from the experience and I can and will move forward as a result. . . without them!