I think that trust is earned as much as it is given, and testing the waters as Perna suggested knowing that you have it within you to heal and survive is really important.
The only thing I sort of question, is if once every 3 mo is enough for you to begin to learn how to trust someone else. It takes that stability and time, those hours with someone to learn that they will be trustworthy, consistent, caring, non-judgmental, and worthy. For me at least, it took the week after week consistency and safety provided to allow me to come towards my T and really begin to trust and respect them. I know you MD wants to protect you and knows you well, but perhaps it is your decision to make when you are ready and ask him to facilitate finding the most worthy of T's and helping with the transition.
Only you can really take that step, and I have a feeling you are stronger and braver than you know and something in you is ready to try.
Best wishes,
Wysteria Blue
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Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your heart.
Who looks outside, Dreams...
Who looks inside, Awakens...
- Carl Jung
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