I'm the same way butterfly1187. And when I had several cats (all lost to fire 6 months ago) I was always worried about something and running to the vet. The receptionist knows my voice. I didn't have to tell her who it was - she always just asked which cat I was making an appointment for. Now that I'm left catless (except for 1 new one) and we've got our house in, which I found a billion things to be worried about and didn't think I'd make it through the whole process - things have settled with all that and my focus is now on bills. I never used to worry about them at all, but it seems since our fire everything has been magnified 100 times, like for you after the loss of your dad, and I panic about them. I was lying in bed this morning thinking how we owe so much in property tax and how are we going to do it, and I've discovered we're behind on internet/phone and insurance, and I was panicking this week til we got the electric bill paid off we were behind on. I understand how you feel. I'm a reader and study a couple languages for hobbies and just can't concentrate or feel like it. I wish I could give you some helpful advice. Just know you're not alone.