Weird typing this, so strange to be able to write in notation of what went on while irl if someone came to speak to me I'd either panic or withdraw... Guess different parts of the brain function at different levels.

Wife came and at first I was just frustrated and angry, snapping at anyone (bar the wife who told me to turn round, brisk walk and breathe) who came near

We went into a quiet room and once there I just withdrew... Just wanted to die and told her so, said in matter of fact detail what had happened while turning away from her and staring at the wall.

She saw my cuts pressed me on details 'when did you last eat? Yesterday' how did you do those cuts etc... Meh.

She spoke to one of the nurses after but I doubt anything will change... I'll just continue to be left alone and nothing will be done.

I truly feel like I've given up... I don't want to say that.. I don't want to upset others... Just I don't know what else to do... I'm in a safe place and I am not safe..