Quote:
Originally Posted by allme
My husband told me today that I have scarred him for life and he doesn't think he will ever recover from what he thinks I've put him through.
I have BPD so life with me can be pretty tough at times. He said I drain him every day  Even though he said all that stuff, he said he still loves me and wants to be with me. Well I don't know how to take it all. I don't want to be with someone if I am damaging them We have been together 15 years and we both still love each other very much but at the same time, it's a very unhealthy relationship.
I don't know what to do after hearing him say those things.
Maybe couples therapy? |
In my personal experience I don't think couples therapy is going to help anything. If the route cause is your BPD then it is something that you have to work through yourself.
My wife has severe anger issues. It has caused a lot of pain in our relationship and a lot of permanent damage. We tried couples therapy but it never had any effect. Finally she has started seeing a therapist and is working on her anger. She includes me in some sessions and it is a safe environment for me to say how I feel as well as her. Because of this things have improved dramatically and we communicate much better now. Just regular married disagreements and the kids have even noticed a huge improvement.
I don't know you and your partner and I am only basing my thought on your post. I do not want to come across like I am blaming you for everything but in your post you make no mention of him being a bad person or treating you poorly. If your BPD is indeed the main obstacle in the way of your shared happiness then that is what you have to conquer.