My birthday is on July 4th, which was super cool when I was younger. Now, for the past 5 years or so, it's been a huge depression trigger. Family, like in-laws or my own mother, make plans on my birthday and don't spend any time with me at all. I realize it's a holiday in the summer and it's way more fun to go camping with friends, drinking and pretending to be in your 20s again, but they never consider my feelings and how much it hurts me. And my stepmother-in-law is one where it has to be all about her, so if I approach them she'll spin it around to be all about her. This year, my mom is going on an Alaskan cruise and has to be in Seattle on the 5th...so she's going to spend the 4th packing.

I always have high hopes of having all my immediate family together for a BBQ and fireworks, and it never happens. Last year, it was too hot for my grandparents to make it and my in-laws spent the day with her family (step mom-in-law). Never even attempted to come see me on my birthday. Why do I take it so personally when nobody wants to spend time with me on my birthday? And not just me...my in-laws missed my husband's birthday and will miss my oldest son's birthday because they just HAVE to move in her daughter because she just HAD to move to San Diego to go to community college there...we're a few hours away from there.

Sorry, I just needed to vent and have no other place to go. I figured maybe some people would understand why I'm so sensitive about my birthday and what it does to me. I guess it's like family not having time for us or not including us is a trigger of depression for me. Like they really don't want us around or we aren't good enough for them. I also have no idea what to do on my birthday. I'm trying so hard to see the positive in it and make the most of the day without them, but it's really hard. It's about all I can think about right now.