I think the most important thing is don't have unrealistic expectations of yourself and especially others. If that is what always happens then don't have the expectation that next year will be different. Make your own plans! My birthdays used to SUCK because of my unrealistic expectations. I would depend on another person (usually and unreliable man) to make my birthday wonderful. Then when they didn't come through (got stood up on my 16th, 21st, and 40th) I cold blame it on them, but I was still miserable. Now I do what I want and I don't expect anyone else to be responsible for my Happy Birthday. Your family now is your husband and kids. Don't let the rest of them ruin it for you. Get together with friends or have a family outing. Life is too short to depend on others for happiness!!!