Thank you everyone. I agree, I'll seek help as quickly as I can afford. Also I've received a new, professional, diagnosed reason for my current issues which does tie into all of my problems including, Pegasus, psychosis. My first, and immensely powerful, Hypo Manic State. I will continue using this community as a support system that I hope I can add to as well (if you've seen my profile recently you know what I am referring to).
Thanks and be well