Hey there . I'm terribly sorry to hear about what is going on in your life . Please try to think differently about yourself, you are not a horrible person like you think you are, nor did you say anything terrible to the F14ace person, for you to feel guilty about. If your post to him was bad, then his post to you was just diabolical. This is something so unfortunate that happens and it's happened to me. You have something beautiful that you love and somebody else comes along and tries to destroy it. Please try to talk to someone, never bottle it up like I did. I never spoke to anyone about my feelings because I'm a guy, and you can imagine how a sensitive guy would have been bullied if he was found out (not that it mattered I was bullied anyway). Part of the reason is because I am an only child and have no friends and find it difficult to talk to my parents. Anyhow, I kept my feelings to myself and became a very hard and cold person. Now at 25, I am nothing less than a monster with no feelings. I have had depression for 3 years and have nobody in my life at all. I also do not trust anybody around me, as far as I'm concerned, everybody has some kind of agenda to take something from me. Please don't let that happen to you, try to change the isolation. Every time somebody destroyed something of mine, I forgot about it, or tried to adapt to the new arrangement. People always told me to just move on. Every time I lost a little bit more of my soul. I just sucked it up and said OK, what's next? Thing is, I never dealt with my feelings or vented them or anything, and you can incorrectly assume that they have just disappeared, they haven't. As I said, because I lost a little bit of my soul every time, I became the hard, soulless monster I am today. Losing the love of my life to another guy was the final nail in the coffin for me, that made me hit rock bottom.

I wish only the best for you and hope you can find someone to make a connection with and tell them your feelings, and I hope you can forgive yourself. Many hugs .