Also, amazingblob, about the thought that your life will end soon: I'll say something similar to what I told newtus about her death dream. This sense of impending death or end may be a very healthy sign that you're on the edge of moving onto something better. The "death" could just be the old you. Sometimes we have to get thoroughly disgusted with ourselves and our situation before we make a positive change. You're a smart cookie about to do something positive.

P.S. The smart thing you're about to do is not to go around warning people the government is brainwashing them via music. That's a misperception which you've added a gloss to about saving the world. It's nice that you want to save the world, but charity begins at home. Take care of yourself first.