Hi ak, your ability to do the job is there. I'd say that it's just really hard for you to be implementing it right now with the way you're feeling.
Do you think you could talk to a doctor or pdoc about the way you're feeling if right now you're finding it really difficult to cope. And that says nothing about your abilities- much more about about your stress/depression (?).
As for your co-workers though, they hate you- well that's coming from their ignorance. If they just checked in with you then they'd be knowing that it wasn't that you were deliberately making the wrong move/s. You know thinking things over and deciding on............it's much more about you being so stuck/overwhelmed/stressed so you weren't able at the time/s to recognize the right move/s. And there's a massive difference between those two things. Maybe talk to them????????
Or maybe they don't hate you, depression/anxiety can sometimes be making you see things that aren't exactly there.
And feeling rushed: well you're going to be doing all you can right?? Just keep a hold on that, and if you need time to recheck things, to be methodical then you are just doing your job as far as anyone is concerned. It might take a bit longer with the way you're feeling but if you can take a breather and focus on "a system" it might help a bit??
Even write yourself a to-do list and work off the top priorities, or as you're going along make a note of the things you have been doing so you can evidence why x, y and z have to wait. And I'm guessing that might even give you something to look back on and think you're doing more than you thought??
But any big mistakes..........well "justify" why they were made as a step forward to not making them again........could be too much of a workload (and look towards your managers ? in helping with that- only so much someone can do efficiently, right?)...........could be not having enough time (well similar to workload)...........could be not having as much support as you need/could expect from others (and that again can maybe be rectified).
And I've got to say........feeling that you're doing everything wrong........are you maybe forgetting all the things you're doing right??!! All the things that you aren't making mistakes with?? All the things you may not be being credited with- then you can give yourself credit for those ??
Sometimes mistakes can stand out so much more than all the rest, but that doesn't alwayshave to be the case.
Alison