Hi everyone,

Not been on here for a while, things have been going quite well and I've felt like I was making progress and starting to feel a bit better about myself. However the last two weeks have been horrible. I've been trying to address my eating disorder for the first time with the support of my T but it's going disastrously so far and things are very erratic on that front which makes me feel like I'm failing.

We've put trauma stuff on hold for now because it was getting too overwhelming and I needed to get a bit more stability and coping strategies in place, which is fine but I still don't feel any more further forward in feeling 'ready' to face this stuff more closely. It's too scary and fills me with panic but I know if I want to move forward and eventually develop a relationship with someone I need to come to terms with what happened.

Added to that in the last week one of our animals was put to sleep which was really sad. And I've started to realise exactly how co-dependent I am and how much I lack assertiveness, particularly when it comes to family.

I just feel like I'm heading back in the wrong direction and I don't really know what to do to get back on the right track. My T is really supportive and is definitely helping.

Sorry this is just a rant really, I just needed to let it out a bit