I am not very clear about what rapid cycling is and I have not bothered to look it up. Here is what is going on with me.

As some of you may know I started on my new meds back around Feb. March. Within three weeks of starting the Fetzima it lifted me right out of the deep depression I had been in for so long. Meds have never been so great for me but here was one that was obviously working very good.

I was pretty hypomanic on it for two months but I rather enjoyed that even though it wasn't totally comfortable. At least I had energy and motivation again. Then things balanced out and I felt actually "normal".

Here is my problem though. Four times since I started these new meds and have been doing good I have went into a three day deep depression. I am there right now since thursday. i feel like total crap. all the usual symptoms.

I keep a mood log everyday so I looked back and the first time it happened was Easter and I wrote that off as some situational stuff because I couldn't make sense of it. But since then the exact same thing has happened three or four more times. Three days of deep depression out of the blue and then I am back to doing good again. This one I felt hit me thursday and today is saturday and i am still deep in it. I took on a job that will last a week next week so I have to be able to do that. It is a definite pattern. And it is one I have never experienced before. Are the meds pooping out already???

What the hell is going on with me???

I am already in the position of having no idea what the future holds for me or what my place in this world will be. At least for most of my past by natural depression cycles were predictable and they didn't last terribly long. In recent years they have become much worse and much longer lasting with addition of major anxiety with paranoia that i had never had. Then miracle of miracles a med that actually works better than anything I have taken........but will it last??? why these mini depressions??? what does the future hold for me???