For my entire life, as long as I can remember, I've always tried to offer my friendship to others, to form a trusting relationship with them. As part of this, I've always offered, in very difficult circumstances they might be going through, my help day or night, I tell them I'm just a phone call away. Up to this point, nobody has ever needed to depend on me as there have been no real maladies that I know of. But, recently, a very good (or what I thought was a very good) friend of mine received some bad news from her gynaecologist. However, she refuses to tell me what had happened, and shuts me out completely. I've told her thousands of times that I'm there for her always, we were even in a bit of a romantic relationship at one point, but we just became friends, as it was deemed a better arrangement. Now that I want to be there for her in her time of turmoil, she no longer regards me as close enough to tell, or she can't trust me enough. And it's not that it's females-only stuff, we had the type of friendship where we were always brutally honest with each other, I mean she never used to mind grossing me out with the details of the "symptoms". We had that sort of relationship, totally open. But now she clams shut. I know it's serious, because she went to the doctor and she was crying when I asked her how it went. I told her again that I was there for her, she didn't answer, just said she can't talk to me. I now realise our friendship never meant anything, she now needs her "real" friends I suppose, the pretence is now over. And, it's like this with all the people I've attempted to form a close bond with, and it's not just a shallow thing about girls (a sexual thing) I mean real friendships, with other guys too. People just show me they never need me or my help, and would rather turn to other people for support. My friendships with them never meant anything. The words were there, "Yes, definitely, I'll keep that in mind, thanks, you're a good friend", but it was never meant. I mean, what's the point then, right? Why even bother, nobody wants me or my help, they just wish I'll leave them alone. Maybe it's better if I just never existed at all, since I mean nothing to anybody anyway. I'm just a worthless, unreliable excuse for a friend.