{{{{ Everyone who responded }}}}

I am struggling big time with all of this. I have a bad case of the what-if's.

When I first saw T I could barely talk I was so consumed with grief over the death of my two brothers.

I also knew at some point I would have to grieve the death of my father because I had stuffed it for twenty-something years, and that "little girl" was afraid to feel that monumental loss.

I feel the same way right now. Stuffing-worrying-stuffing-crying-stuff-stuff-stuffing all the pain.

I have out of town guests coming this month, a birthday that I don't want to celebrate with them, I have to give a presentation/training class to a large group of people and I am losing my nerve. T is sick. My mother is sick. Argh.