Thanks for the replies.

Im not keen to meet anyone else, I will not expose someone else to my moods again. It is just too painful for them and the guilt kills me.

I have my favourite show on the tv, it isnt helping any.

My pdoc/therapist only works thursdays, I am unable to get in contact with her until my appointment thursday. I have a CBT therapist that I could probably get into within two weeks. I could probably get an emergency appointment with my meds pdoc within the week but I dont feel this is a meds issue so I am not sure what he can do for me. I cant increase my antipsychotic anymore than it is at and I do not want to add another med. Today is my challenge, and there is nothing the professionals can do for me today.

I had plans to go out today, I was so excited to do it but I cant stop this ridiculous bawling. I dont want to overwhelm my friends as I have relied on them a lot the past week, I have already lost 3 in the last 6 months due to oversharing and needing too much support.

The problem is I dont feel like I will get through today without doing myself some real damage, this is a big cry for help because I dont think I can cope.