No mobile crisis teams anymore, they disbanded them last I heard.

I really really do not want to go to hospital again. To me that is the biggest failure I could ever imagine, to need to go to hospital after something so simple as a break up. I would rather die then get admitted.

That is what is helping stop me the self harm, I know I will need stitches and I worry they will keep me. I have every thing set up to do it though. If the 2.5mg of lorazepam doesnt work I guess I will have to take the xyprexa wafer and call in sick to work tomorrow.

I didnt want to turn to meds but I was all out of coping ideas. As it is I think I am too distressed for a benzo to be enough anyway.