yes, it definitely sounds like you are on the road to an eating disorder. I don't know why you think your t would reject the idea just because she is skinny and well put together seeming. I work in the mental health field and I can tell you, lots of ts don't have their life any more together than we do. im a social worker and im totally messed up but that doesn't make me a bad social worker. im really good at helping others. so just lay it out to t like you did in this post. there are healthier ways to go about losing weight without crossing the lines you are crossing or about to cross. you will probably be purging before to long. take care of yourself......