There are things I would love to talk over with someone I knew wouldn't be offended. I'm lonely. No one gets me. Trauma struck in my very first college class. I mourn the education I got to look at but couldn't have.

I feel like I always have to be the adult. Or the parent. I always feel lily the gifted girl who had to sit quietly and read or help other students because my educational needs weren't important.

Then I got to a college where my needs did matter, and I got traumatised but no one index least of all myself.

It's a cruel joke. I have to be an atheist because if I believed in a god I'd have to try to kick his ***, and being omnipotent and omniscient and all, it would be sort of frustrating unless he let me which he should but then I guess I'd have to fear hell for kicking gods ***. Even if he allowed it. Because its probably a sin, although its not a commandment.

I go to a place where I meet people who Mr to my college and people like them. It stirs it up. Maybe it hurts me. Maybe I hope to have someone to tell it to who will know what o lost.