Try not to be so hard on yourself. I really like the self-talk suggestion another poster mentioned. I believe there is a link. Self-talk is a big topic in my therapy. Mindfulness helps too. Once you realize the negative things you say and feel about yourself, or when you are being hard on yourself, you will be able to stop, think, and redirect. That is the challenging part and it takes a lot of mindful thinking. Eventually it becomes second-nature. I highly recommend trying!

I also agree with Glok regarding giving your meaning to your life. That is something I struggle with as well but I found something I wanted to apply for to volunteer and just the thought of it gives me a feeling of higher purpose, beyond all other shortcomings and hardships.

I hope things ease up for you. You deserve happiness.