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Old Jun 22, 2014, 09:24 AM
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Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Southeast United States
Posts: 1,107
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1914sierra View Post
I've seen many, many strong, healthy, loving, respectful, loyal marriages. My parents are in their 63rd year of marriage and I admire them and their depth of love for each other more than anything. I grew up around family and friends where marriages routinely last well over 50 years. And each and every one of them were models of long term commitment, loyalty, honor, love, etc. My husband and I are in our 27th year of marriage and while not a perfect marriage, our commitment and love for each other helps us live through and work through whatever difficulties come our way. I think sometimes that ability to actually work through and persevere through life's difficulties has much diminished in younger generations. People think marriage should be all rainbows and butterflies when in actuality it is hugely difficult work, but it is so worth the effort to learn to work through those difficulties and come out the other side even stronger for it. No, no one should stay in an abusive relationship. Not at all saying that. But those vows are serious ones that shouldn't be tossed aside easily either.
Life in reality - the wonderful, the difficult, the contented. I personally work on letting down the walls to try and let someone that close. Fear of pain and abandoment keep me from from taking a chance and enjoying the here and now. Nobody can ever promise to stay forever - I know that.
I have many people I care about in my life...at an arms length. I continue to work on this. I like to hear about the good and know that others can hang in there through good and difficult (not abusive) times.
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany

“Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge