I do not think you can ever get to know him or learn what he "is" because you keep leaving the relationship. You contacted him again because you wanted to contact him again. That is a perfectly valid want but would help if you learned to stand behind what you want. If you want to meet him, keep looking for a time he can meet with you until it happens. You leaving because he cannot show up does not say anything about him.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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