yeah...if only life were as simple as it looks. from the outside it looks like I have a good life...a good job, a nice car, a nice little apartment, supportive people im my life.....but im scared and alone and it takes everything in me to make it through a day. none of those supportive people call me and I am too afraid to reach out to them and let them know how I am feeling. agoraphobia keeps me trapped in my home where I sit in the dark running up debt on my computer and playing games on pc to pass the time. only pc people know how I am doing. lucky for me, after years of working at it, many frustrating years, my meds are stable, but now my pdoc has put me on antidepressants because she has discovered I have no joy in my life. I can only hope this doesn't throw me into a mania. waiting. don't need that chaos. just exist day to day and recover on the weekends. no, you are not alone in your struggles. hang in there.