It is called coping....kind of like shell shock.
It is also called grief...we express it many different ways...none are right or wrong they just are.
Your feelings must be tied up in knots.
Be gentle with yourself and realise that you are doing the best that you can be doing...I think you are doing well and didnot know that you were working outside the home as well.
Don't know how you manage all of that.
((((HUGS))))
bizi