Your trying to hard to be perfect when you aren't and you never will be. That's causing you to be extremely hard on yourself. Just be yourself. Your going to mess up many more times in the future and you can't continually beat yourself up on the small things you do. If your boss thinks the worst of you ( I'm sure she doesn't) oh we'll. there are going to be people who don't like you but what they think doesn't matter. It all comes down to what YOU think about you, and if you keep thinking that you are f*** up then that's what is really going to effect you and others not what those other people think.