My therapist suggested writing in a journal the reasons for the breakup and the problems with the other person and then to keep reviewing those to help remember why you made the decision to split. In case that is what is bothering you so much. When I feel overwhelming and sadness and guilt about my split with my partner that's what I do. I review all the reasons that I can't be with him and it really helps me see why we aren't right for each other.

However, if you are feeling like hurting yourself you may need to go to the hospital. I know you don't want to go but it's not that bad and then at least they can review your meds and maybe give you something that will get rid of your horrible feelings.

Sorry you are in so much pain...