A huge attributor to m depression is this:

See, for years, i tried to look like Dennis Wolf (Google images if don't know him) or someone similar. Yet, in spite of my efforts, I never could attain anything remotely "close" to this

In addition, I find myself comparing me to all other males...and I feel I do not measure up...so inadequate, insecure, etc....due to lack of muscles.......I have even made two "attempts" to end it all due to this very thing....

I see my therapist, and I have heard the whole "personality matters" speech.....yet...inside me, I loathe myself! I hate being me.......in fact, I like nothing about myself.