Thank you guys for the support...
like you said kenshin, sometimes even eating and showering seems pointless.
about talking to my parents and go see a Dr, my parents are the type that don't believe in depression being a mental condition, they think it's the same thing of being sad... my uncle recently broke up with his gf which he lived together since I can remember and he moved to be closer to his family, so one day my father is talking about how my uncle is being dramatic because he was crying and talking about suicide... since then I realized I couldn't rely on my parents.
And as I'm unemployed I can't afford to pay a Dr myself. that's why I searched for this forum. I already feel much better, just having someone to talk about it.

I often watch videos/livestreams when I'm feeling down, it also helps, but it's just for a small moment.