I've been notified that by the end of July I won't have a job anymore. I teach a Per Diem night class so if the class doesn't fill I don't teach. It was cancelled in 2010 due to recession & no one signed up, otherwise the class always runs. I also teach summer camps in June & July. I guess next yr I'll be asked to teach again if the program is still running.
So many people have blown off my news as "oh well..."& it floors me. I've taught this class for 17 yrs & now basically bec of finances they cut the program. I guess people think that if I only teach one night a wk that it really wasn't a job. But to me it was my life & I dedicated countless volunteer hrs to it bec no one else would. It was my responsibility bec no one else knew how to do it. I'm so sick of people saying oh that's too bad & onto the next subject or just ignoring me all together.
The loss of this small job has devistated me. My H says you can look at it either the glass is half full or half empty & I'm always empty. Is it so much to ask for a little empathy from others that this has really hurt me?
I should also include that I could now teach this class thru my own private studio. I'd be my own boss & to everyone else this is an opportunity for my business to take off. Yes, on paper this looks good.
But I'm not a business person & don't wanto be pegged as just a teacher which is what it'll turn Into. My mental illnesses make me useless. Making a go of it scares me to death bec of failure & the constant nagging I have of being plagued w/the feeling that I'm not good enough. It really takes all the joy out of the class if it becomes based on making money. No one sees it this way or understands it.
I feel like such a total failure in my life. I have no direction or drive to do this on my own.

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