I was falling asleep listening to my last session, and these thoughts were running through my head, so I woke up to write them down before I don't understand it anymore. I need to be able to write this in such a way to get my point across AND not be blaming, and I think this sounds blaming. Can someone help me reword it so I can talk to my T about it without putting her on the defensive?

Thoughts:
It’s like I have (had) these deep beliefs that I didn’t even realize I had (as evidenced by my constant questioning of you), until something happened between us (the monday night session) that violated that mental image, and then completely shattered it. Like I had a sense of my place in the world, or my place in your “therapy world,” and then I felt shoved out of place with the force of a mack truck, left reeling bc I don’t understand how to incorporate this new information into the introject I had of you (got from you) before. I don’t know how to merge them and adjust. So instead they coexist uncomfortably side by side, and everytime something happens that I perceive as incompatible, the original introject takes the hit and more splintering occurs, and I understand how to handle it even less bc I can’t wrap my head around how it’s possible that this is happening? It feels like an impossibility, a violation at the very core of my being and I am unable to reconcile it.