I agree that you should focus on the email you accidentally sent her that seemed to articulate what you are experiencing so well. If you start using this type of psycho-language, I agree with Scarlett that it may not sound "real" and will likely put her on the defensive. Anything you say at this point on this topic will probably do the same. At any rate, I think discussing that email will be your best shot at a productive discussion and not the same circular one you've been having.