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lifelies · Jun 23, 2014, 06:13 AM

I just can't keep doing this.
My mother is totally paranoid about every single thing we do.
She gets mad at us for doing nothing. Our existence already makes her angry.
She punishes us. She doesn't punish us like she used to, now she acts like everything's OK. But we know it's not.
We know she is paranoid. She follows us everywhere. She always finds out what we do.
She just hates us. She hates us.
*trigger warning 2 - hate, rage, death*
I HATE HER SO MUCH. I WANT TO KILL HER. SHE DESERVES TO DIE. SHE DOESN'T GET TO DO THIS TO US. SHE DOESN'T. SHE SHOULD DIE AND SUFFER. SHE SHOULD GO TO HELL. SHE DESERVES TO DIE. I HATE HER. I HATE HER.
I HATE HER BECAUSE SHE LET OUR FATHER ABUSE US TOO.
OUR FATHER IS OK NOW. HE DOESN'T PUNISH US.
NOW SHE DOES BECAUSE WE'RE NOT OK.
IF SHE CARED WE WOULD BE OK.
SHE SHOULD PUNISH HERSELF.
I just feel so depressed and void.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I can't keep living with her.
I just can't.
I'm afraid of her.
I know she is going to kill us sometime.
She is going to hurt us a lot because we make her mad.
When she's mad she's evil.
But I can tell no one because no one cares.