I'm kind of over this whole depression thing. *sigh*

I'm in my 30s and have had depression for... well as long as I can remember anyway. My first major episode with suicidal ideation was when I was 14. In the last five or six years I've sought professional help (ugh to all the people who made me feel terrible about having depression). The thing is... nothing has worked No meds (and I've been on a ton), therapy (did DBT and have had the same therapist for this whole time - he's really good)... nothing works

I'm so frustrated and worn down. If we could afford ECT, I'd give it a go, but we can't. Blerg.

Anyway. I'm not sure what to do. I feel really low and my therapist has been worried about me (rightly so). I'm just mentally exhausted. Some of that could be PPD on top of my regular stuff and I did have a traumatic labor, but I'm kind of stuck either way. I'm going to see my psychiatrist in a few weeks but I'm not really hopeful he has any ideas :-/