Thanks for your post SS, we are so prevented from discussing this topic it's really tough to feel it and ... not be able to vent it

I, too, sit with the wings to fly at any moment. It's my option, something I know I have for WHEN (and maybe, if) things ALL things go absolutely, impossibly wrong.

Wise is right it IS seductive... depression draws us down and into the dark folds of deception...

It is not a good way to live. In fact, it isn't any way to live. It's the ambivilence that will get us, off guard, at some point...

...when we are pretty sure we might not... and don't want anyone to think we're just trying to call attention to ourselves... or because of policy (like here) have to say call a hotline... when all we might need is reassurance that this is the DEPRESSION talking... taking over our minds and making us think these things

well... those are just some of my thinkings I'd post on suicide, if we were allowed to discuss it.