i am so sorry you are dealing with this. i lived this way for 12 years. it is mental and emotional abuse. the man controlled everything i did and everything i did was wrong. all i wanted was to be loved. he doled out the sweethearts and darlings just sparingly enough to keep me hoping. had me convinced i could never make it without him. turned out i was supporting his ***. i had more money after i left him than i ever did with him. but you describe him to a t. i was never allowed to go out with my friends. god forbid somebody call me and take up his phone, what if one of his friends wanted to call? had to watch what he wanted to watch on tv and god forbid we make noise and he cant hear it. go to bed when he wanted to go to bed so i didnt disturb his sleep by coming in after and dont ever move in bed. dont ever move any of his things so he cant find them later but then he would complain about how i never cleaned. i have been alone since leaving that relationship because i cant bear the idea of having another man control me. i dont want to give up my remote or my freedom to move in bed or cook anytime i feel like it instead of on demand. i love my freedom. think about it. take care.