Thanks for the messages and sorry for the slow response today. Been a bit of a roller coaster... They did a possession search on me this morning and I burst into tears whilst admitting and volentarily handing over a drawing pin I had taken to cut with. They weren't mad or anything and said it was to my credit to give it up before found but again removed a load of items they deemed 'risk'.

It is hard talking about that in chronical form as it's difficult to compare myself to those moments to when I'm calm and lucid. Right now it is infuriating and I hate that person for the way he is.

Had a few wobbles through out the day including a rage fit where I punched a wall till one of my knuckles bled.

Tonight I was allowed to go see my T under escort of my wife and then care given over to my T

Session went well surprisingly and I've come back calmer. Temptation was of course there not to return but as the hospital has my catheters and I can't pee without them I didn't really have a choice.

Anyway, again, thanks for the messages and support

TJ