I understand. I've been battling depression since I was 32, I'm now 62. Back when I was younger my doctor would find something that would work for a year or two then just quit working. Now the best he has managed to do is to keep where I'm not actively suicidal. Which I'm thankful, for but I have no joy in my life. I have never tried ECT and don't think I want to.

I certainly hope your psychiatrist can find something to help you when you see him. No one deserves to go through this.